I haven't posted in a while because I've been trying to get my life organised before I start my new job, spring cleaning, new wardrobe, new hair cut, etc.
While cleaning out my cupboard I came across a book I used to write poetry in when I was younger and more angsty, and thought I would post some seeing as I haven't been feeling particularly inspired or creative lately.
...........
He pushes past, you watch him leave
Follow the curls with your eyes.
He's out of reach, untouchable,
His trust secured by lies.
The flesh that taunts,
That irresistible thrust
innocent and pure,
Can't help but sink into a frenzy of lust.
It's dark; you wait,
Push back the leaves and sigh.
Corruption of the curls
Say your good bye,
He died because he passed you by.
..........
I know it's up to me
I'm the only one with my future
But it's my choice to sink or swim
So if I should choose the safe path and
Fall into the chasm forever
Don't disturb my peace
For although my heart has been broken
And cried to a dark, deathly black
I do still have control of my mind; I am sane
I know when a life is worth living
A leaf is more worthy of life's blessing
Than me with my troubled ways
I cry myself through the wearisome days
Believe me when I say I know what I'm doing
And don't disturb my peace.
..........
They cry
They watch you fall
You're too far gone to notice
Or hear them call.
............
To love is to lie to ourselves
The fallen will never rise
Forever lost in the past
Let our vision remain unclouded.
.............
In other news, this cooler weather makes me want to go walking through a rainforest. I always used to do that to mark a change in my life: end of a relationship, a new relationship, finishing university... It's almost like a spiritual ritual and I love that it is so peaceful and quiet and still so I can really think about my life, choices, decisions, and the future.
11/21/10
11/13/10
11/11/10
11/10/10
Nightmare
I just had an awful dream.
Two geese and their babies came running out of the office where I work in a panic, and I wanted to save them so I herded them into this shed which I thought would be a haven for them because I knew there were other animals in there. But when I opened the door to the shed it was almost pitch black inside, and as my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that there were all kinds of farm animals lying on the floor, and I couldn't tell if they were dead or almost dead. All I could think to do was to find them water fast, and then to start finding food for them all. There was one pig whose face is burned into my memory, it is the most vivid part I can remember from the dream. It looked so helpless and pathetic, like it had given up waiting for anyone to help it, given up hope of finding water or food, and all it could do was lie there helpless and weak, dying.
I'm not sure what it all means: is it simply a dream about my concern for animals, or because I was napping in the middle of a hot day and woke up parched? Or is there a more sinister meaning behind it all? For example, the geese fleeing my work office (significant in light of the fact that I got a new job and will also be leaving) instead of finding sanctuary and peace in an alternative found even worse conditions. Is it just that I am nervous about leaving what I know, or is it that I took this new job instead of waiting to find out if I got the job at the RSPCA? Because the overwhelming feeling I got from this dream was of guilt.
I am not doing enough to help them.
Two geese and their babies came running out of the office where I work in a panic, and I wanted to save them so I herded them into this shed which I thought would be a haven for them because I knew there were other animals in there. But when I opened the door to the shed it was almost pitch black inside, and as my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that there were all kinds of farm animals lying on the floor, and I couldn't tell if they were dead or almost dead. All I could think to do was to find them water fast, and then to start finding food for them all. There was one pig whose face is burned into my memory, it is the most vivid part I can remember from the dream. It looked so helpless and pathetic, like it had given up waiting for anyone to help it, given up hope of finding water or food, and all it could do was lie there helpless and weak, dying.
I'm not sure what it all means: is it simply a dream about my concern for animals, or because I was napping in the middle of a hot day and woke up parched? Or is there a more sinister meaning behind it all? For example, the geese fleeing my work office (significant in light of the fact that I got a new job and will also be leaving) instead of finding sanctuary and peace in an alternative found even worse conditions. Is it just that I am nervous about leaving what I know, or is it that I took this new job instead of waiting to find out if I got the job at the RSPCA? Because the overwhelming feeling I got from this dream was of guilt.
I am not doing enough to help them.
11/7/10
Peanut Butter cookies and Carrot Cake
Going to a barbeque for an omni girl's birthday, and decided to make some vegan treats to take, peanut butter cookies and a carrot cake with vegan buttercream frosting.
The peanut butter cookies didn't turn out so well: why oh why didn't they flatten, and why were they so crumbly?
In the end I covered them in left over cream cheese frosting from the cake, and they became delicious little decadent morsels!
The cake turned out alright though, despite the fact that I pretty much made up the measurements because the recipe was in grams, and as a result of recently renovating our kitchen (and by recently I mean a year ago, but things are still in chaos) we have lost our kitchen scales. So who knows what it will taste like, but it looks fine :)
The peanut butter cookies didn't turn out so well: why oh why didn't they flatten, and why were they so crumbly?
In the end I covered them in left over cream cheese frosting from the cake, and they became delicious little decadent morsels!
The cake turned out alright though, despite the fact that I pretty much made up the measurements because the recipe was in grams, and as a result of recently renovating our kitchen (and by recently I mean a year ago, but things are still in chaos) we have lost our kitchen scales. So who knows what it will taste like, but it looks fine :)
In other news, I have decided I need to cut back on drinking, because obsessively sending drunken text messages is dangerous and unladylike.
11/5/10
Choice
One particularly annoying justification for consuming, using, exploiting, and killing animals is that we humans have higher intellectual capabilities. We have established a hierarchy: humans at the top, animals at the bottom, and this apparently gives us the right to use and abuse those 'below' us.
Below is a quote I found that I think argues against this kind of reasoning:
“Unlike any other animal, you have a choice. You can choose to kill and destroy, or you can choose to save and create. I chose the latter.”
~Edward Sanchez
I think the fact that we have a choice is so important. We may have the facility for intellectual reasoning, but this should not be seen as a reason to justify our exploitation of animals.
Below is a quote I found that I think argues against this kind of reasoning:
“Unlike any other animal, you have a choice. You can choose to kill and destroy, or you can choose to save and create. I chose the latter.”
~Edward Sanchez
I think the fact that we have a choice is so important. We may have the facility for intellectual reasoning, but this should not be seen as a reason to justify our exploitation of animals.
11/2/10
Excuse me, but your breath smells like death
The longer I am vegan the more it bothers me when people around me eat meat and dairy. In particular, the smells are very off-putting, especially when someone you want to kiss smells like dead animal or like sour cheese. I had read on various vege forums that going vegan makes you more attuned to the smells of non-vegans, and I thought it was ridiculous, but it seems to be true.
For some reason my omni boyfriend seems to find me off-putting recently too. It doesn't seem to matter how short the dress is. Maybe I smell like tofu. Or maybe it's because we have been together over a year and a half now, the longest relationship either of us has been in, and he just isn't interested anymore. Seems to have had the opposite effect on me though.
Ah well, just an excuse for another comfort food style dinner with wine. I'm making pasta with a white sauce, tomato, spinach, basil, pinenuts, and mushrooms.
For some reason my omni boyfriend seems to find me off-putting recently too. It doesn't seem to matter how short the dress is. Maybe I smell like tofu. Or maybe it's because we have been together over a year and a half now, the longest relationship either of us has been in, and he just isn't interested anymore. Seems to have had the opposite effect on me though.
Ah well, just an excuse for another comfort food style dinner with wine. I'm making pasta with a white sauce, tomato, spinach, basil, pinenuts, and mushrooms.
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